Hills and Valleys

aerial view of green mountain

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

It’s all about perspective. That’s what I was reminded of today, sitting in the front row, tears streaming down my face already after the first refrain of God, You’re so Good. Whether I am standing, celebrating at the highest height or collapsing to my knees, deep in the trenches of despair, the force at work guiding my life is so good.

I remember a time where I was doing what I thought all good rebellious young adults are “supposed to” do, shedding what felt, at the time, like the chains of my religious upbringing. I looked to the seemingly cruel Old Testament God of destruction and scoffed at the idea that this same angry God could want good for me. What a joke! I looked to the flawed humans that claimed to be mouthpieces of the Divine and rolled my eyes at the hypocrisy of their words in relationship to their actions. Do as I say not as I do, hmpf! I found a disdain for the narrowness of religious dogma and even as I began to turn my face back to the God of my youth, I was determined to seek Him my own way.

And what I found, in my seeking and searching in the dark and in the light, was that the natural activity of all living beings, creatures, matter, is aimed towards growth. Even the moments of life that seem desolate, the bare winter landscapes or the cleansing fires that spark in the forests, are necessary to make space for new life.

In the microcosm of my own life I found that the times I felt torn apart, buried, and barren were inevitably just what I needed to make space for something better. I also found that the amount that I suffered was in direct proportion to how tightly I clung onto the aspect of my life that was transforming whether I liked it or not. Maybe it was those deep roots of my childhood church experience, maybe some of us are just more inclined to trust that there is a plan that we don’t fully understand, maybe it was trial and error, whatever it was there came a point where I refused to wallow in my circumstances knowing that something better was coming. Good was coming and whether I saw it on the horizon or not was inconsequential for its arrival in my life, but trust, a loose grip and an open heart, those were absolute requirements.

When we arrive on the top of the mountain, surveying the landscape beneath us, reminded of the valleys, the struggle through thick and thorny forest, or the exhausting climb up steep terrain, it’s easy to see the reward, but what about while we are in the thick of it? How do we know without a shadow of a doubt that the view will inevitably be worth more than what the climb might cost us?

We say so. That is how.

Our words carry tremendous power. The frequency and tone with which we communicate makes a significant difference as to how they are received. I am sure we can all recognize the difference between feeling barked at and asked to do something politely, even without use of “the magic word.” The words we choose to describe people, places, and things, can impact other people’s experiences before they have ever even come into contact with them. If I tell you about bad service at a restaurant chances are you will find yourself on the receiving end of the same treatment, if for no other reason that that is what you were looking for based on what you had been told.

The power of positive thinking, the fame and success of The Secret, the use of specific chant and mantra or positive affirmations, all come from this line of thinking that our words carry a frequency that is strong enough to attract into our lives exactly what we are speaking, if for no other reason at all then the fact that what we say we seek, the words we use color the outcome whether we realize it or not.

That being the case, why would I choose to do anything other than speak growth into my life?

Why would you?

From To-Do to Ta-Da

I have spent the last two days tidying up, catching up on tasks that get dropped down the to-do list as life gets busy, or as the house gets full; activities like laundry and cleaning out the fridge. This morning as I finished wiping the shelves, dumping out drawers, and restocking what made the cut to remain at that crisp, fingertip chilling 35 degrees, I felt a familiar sense of lightness, peace, and accomplishment. In true modern fashion I even sent off this photo and text…

β€œI suddenly feel like I have my life all together πŸ˜‚β€

And as I reveled in the cleanliness by the light of the fridge I was reminded of another time the same job gave me pause to think and I decided to share with you what I wrote then.

Epiphanies from the Kitchen

FRIDAY, JANUARY 1, 2016

We cleaned the fridge today and I realized what a funny thing they are.

We guard them with our life, β€œLet me get that for you,” letting just select people in, until we have no choice. We hold on to jars of who-knows-what from who-knows-when for way too long. And when life is a mess the fridge definitely suffers; jammed full of junk or barren, sticky, icky, smelly, with moldy leftovers.

Today my fridge became a mirror and I didn’t love everything I saw.

I was holding on to things that no longer served me. So I put them in the trash!

I was feeling filmy. So I wiped it away clean.

I had the easy, temporary stuff up front, and the wholesome in back. So I rearranged!

I wish I had a before picture to share with you all, but I don’t. I can tell you that the state of my fridge this morning was directly reflective of the chaos of the last few weeks. (That is a discussion for another day.)

It was hard, but we pulled everything out and wiped it all clean, cast away the things that were no longer serving us, and let go of the junk, well most of it. πŸ™‚

Now I know I am ready to start 2016 with an open heart, mind, and fridge. πŸ˜‰

What are you dealing with right now? Take a good long look. Today is for fresh starts after all.

XOXO

I never did tell that story, I never had that discussion with an audience beyond the inner circle, the tribe that no longer had to ask to look inside my refrigerator and knows they can help themselves. What had proceeded was the first of many trips to a detox facility. On a day I was supposed to be decorating Christmas cookies with a friend and our kids, I was driving what felt like the longest stretch of highway, through pre-holiday traffic and an endless barrage of insults. As I drove I put on the armor of support, as my inner circle rallied around me, the same circle that stood with me this past Tuesday in Arlington National Cemetery as we laid those difficult days in their final resting place, as we honored the best parts of an American hero and let the rest settle quietly into peace.

It was those same people that reminded me over the last few weeks that it is ok that not everyone gets to help themselves to the sweet and salty that sustain me, to the ingredients that are stored at the ready to make something new and wonderful, or the leftovers that I just need a little more time to be ready to clear. It is those reminders, that support, that once again clothed me in the strength to endure. It is that support, grown from love, understanding, and acceptance, that covers me and my household in a blanket of peace, the kind that passes all understanding, and a sense of knowing that no matter what I have everything I will ever need. And it is that support that sometimes nudges me when it is time to clear the old, wipe the shelves clean, and bask in the new found light that space gives me to see where I need to nourish myself most.

All of this is to say Thank You to those of you who help yourself. You know who you are. You have fed me, carried me, and loved me through some of the most difficult moments a person can imagine. You have helped to mold and shape my new beginning with your presence, your words, and your love. You have empowered me to find my way beyond the mess and I am eternally grateful.

P.S. Clean your fridge and thank your tribe.